This Is What I Do
As I've said many times, each life coach is different. So I can only speak for myself. This morning was a perfect example of how I, as a life coach, interact with clients emotions and feelings. I have a 67-year-old client who, from my perspective, is a bit afraid of her feelings. Because of that, she almost always decides that her anger is not ok. This, of course, affects her relationships profoundly. She has been married four times. And currently is in a committed relationship which seems to be much better than any she's had before. Her partner is willing to grow along with her and is open to change also. He appears truly to love her 
and want her to be happy.
and want her to be happy.
So they have some things going on that have given her the opportunity to become angry. Things that have to do with money, control and remodeling a kitchen. Last week she was so full of feelings and emotions that she was ready to sleep in another room or leave the relationship. This week she reported having had the conversations with him that she needed to have herself be seen and heard.
Now I'm fine with whatever she does. As you know I try to have NOAGNDA with my clients but they pay me to say the hard stuff and many times to offer my knowledge, wisdom and know-how with the challenges they experience in their lives.
My experience with emotions and feelings is this. In my household growing up, I pretty much was allowed happy and sad. The two incidents my mother told me about often were when I was two and four. When I was two I apparently kept spitting cereal at her so she dumped the bowl on my head. When I was four I spit again and she washed my mouth out with soap. So the environment wasn't too open to my expressing anger. Well, when a child is hampered from expressing feelings, what happens is they lose their inborn emotional intelligence. Because that happened to me, many things came to pass in my life that forced me to finally pursue reeducating myself on feelings - both intellectually and by allowing myself to process the old ones. That's another story but I have a lot of experience and am now thought of as an expert in emotional intelligence by my husband.
So this is part of the education that often happens with clients. When we talk about emotions and feelings, I teach what I know and offer tools I've learned or developed.
That's pretty much how this life coach interacts with clients about emotions and feelings.
YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching
I've just come across your website and really love it - it's got great information delivered in a really approachable way, as instanced by this post. I really like your 'intuitive' approach to coaching, it's refreshing.
ReplyDeleteMaia, currently you began following me on Twitter :) I do like your various approaches with Life Coaching. Although, I call myself a Life Coach Counselor; I primarily work as a therapist with various clients with emotional and mental health disorders; Axis I and Axis II, and am currently working with Trauma therapy and Complex PTSD. I don't work much as a life coach. I really like your site and your upcoming site and as I read more within your site you sound like you are a very good coach! I would be interested in referring some clients over to you for coaching, if you are interested. I just don't seem to have the time with my other clients right now. Also, if ever you would like to chat about issues regarding theory or techniques regarding mental health and emotional disorders, I would be happy to chat.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
~Angela D.~
I on the other hand, experienced years of sadness, disappointment and anger growing up. So much so, that I didn't know how to feel happy or express any positive emotions. I feel so much freer now and liberated in feeling and expressing all of my emotions!!
ReplyDeleteI was so confident I was ready to talk to my son in his 40 s after I watch the video on conlcift. I was calm, I spoke to him when he was in jovial mood. BUT not! I said in a mild joking tone pls do not shout at your wife He got upset and responded If people are so sensitive ,it is not my problem . I did not even get a chance to tell him that he yells at me too and in front of other people. There were just the two of us. His wife and sis in law were not aware of our conversation. I am not aware that he raises his voice to their child's nanny nor to employee/friend's family who he has always complimented. He claims he does not shout. I do not know what to do.
ReplyDelete