Become a Better Life Coach Through Self Awareness

A  question  was  asked  in my  coaching  community.  It is a great  learning experience  for self awareness.   As  a coach  if I use self awareness  as a  tool  it can  create a great coaching  environment for my clients  and me.  The question asked:

I was on the phone with a friend and once again I found myself hearing her complain about her abusive job situation.  This has been going on for about 5 years.  She barely stops to take a breath, I once told her that unless there is progress being made, she is talking about the same thing over and over.

It makes me feel when someone does that, abused.

She has a steady job during a time when folks have nothing.  There is a lot to be grateful in any situation and when someone does that constantly, it bothers me personally.

Is that what goes on in Life Coaching, a b----- session?

How do you protect yourself from the negative energy of that?

Here’s my answer: Your question is a good one and I'll give you my thoughts as they occur to me.

• I'd never let  a  situation  like  this happen with a client because we pretty much know that we are a good fit before we start coaching and I always get permission to jump in when I get their story. So I interrupt.  Part of  the  reason  I  jump  in is my having self awareness.  I  listen to the feelings  around the comments  expressed  by my  clients.

• That's not what coaching (with me) is about. The reason I didn't become a therapist was because I could never see myself just sitting and listening to someone's problems. I'm about positive change. (I know all therapy isn't about that but I was young and didn't know it then.) The positive change is teaching the clients about self awareness   too.

• I'd hate doing that. I hate doing that for anyone because it brings me down and makes me feel powerless myself. (This doesn't mean I'm not compassionate to friends, family and clients. It does mean exactly what it says.)

• When I get off I coaching call, I'm high. If that doesn't happen most of the time, this coaching relationship isn't working and I know it.

Does this mean I’m heartless? No. It means clients pay me to help them get un-stuck. How would I be helping them do that if I just let them stay stuck in their problem? Once I understand what they want to change, my job as life coach is to help them stay focused in that direction.

So, bottom line, I don’t have to deal with the negative energy because I don’t experience it.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching