What did you learn from it?

I was going for a walk the other day and noticed I was asking myself why I created a really difficult old friend visiting the previous weekend. These days, it isn’t surprising to you when someone asks, “Why did you create that?”

 It’s not a bad or wrong question but there’s always been something about the question that bothered me a bit. Now I know what it is. Implied in that little question is “you dope”. It’s kind of saying, “That was a really lame and hard thing you created for yourself, you dope. Why’d you do that?”

Then I realized I didn’t care very much why I had created the situation but what I did care about was what I could learn for the future from the experience. Maybe it was a little dopey of me to expect someone I had been friends with over 40 years ago to be a person I would necessarily enjoy spending a weekend with at this time of my life.

So what I learned from the situation is:

1. Just because I might have agreed a couple of months ago to do something I didn’t really want to do now, I could have changed my mind.
2. To really trust my intuition about situations with people. I have an intuitive gift about people and situations. Use it. Follow it.

3. If I don’t do #1 and #2, forgive myself and move on.
So next time you hear yourself ask, “Why did I create that?” remember that only if the answer will positively change your future behavior, i.e. you learn something from it, is it a valid and self-empowering question.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching 

Does Everyone Have 'Mother's Intuition'?

Life Coach and Intuition

We all know what it means when someone says they had a hunch or they followed their instinct. This means they were guided by their intuition. You probably have heard of a mother's intuition. Somehow moms just seem to know what to do when something is wrong. Some call it a feeling. Sometimes it appears as a pit of fear in your stomach. Everyone has had those feelings. The difference is how you handle those intuitions and what you do with them. Some people are not confident enough to follow their instincts. Some people will go against all odds on intuition and be right every time.

Intuition is extremely important when choosing a life coach. A life coach needs to be able to count on his or her intuition sometimes to guide the way to help you. A life coach needs to be able to listen to you and pick up on feelings and emotions that are blocking you and sometimes the only clear way they can get to that point is by going on their instincts and feelings. As you work with your coach one of the things that should come to you is the confidence to trust your own intuition.

A while back I decided to send a duplicate of a book I already have to one of my clients. I could not have said why. The book is called The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Amazing! My client is starting her own business after having worked for someone else for her whole adult life. She is flirting with learning how to use the internet to promote her business by starting a blog. As you can see from this blog, blogs work best if you enter posts daily. The other day she was asked by someone at work to do some creative type work on the internet and she heard a little tiny voice tell her, "You're not creative. You can't do this." That's the voice I've been coaching her to listen for and begin to change those self-defeating thoughts. Now back to the Artist's Way. The Artist's Way is a book to help you open your creativity!

Was it coincidence or intuition? What do you think?

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Who Do You Choose - a Man or a Woman?

Male or Female Life Coach?

So, you've already made the decision to get a life coach. Now you must choose one. In addition to all the important questions like their experience and how well you can communicate with them, you must also think about whether you would like a female or male coach. This very well could best be determined by figuring out exactly what you want to accomplish with your life coach.

If you have your own company that you are trying to grow or would like to get in line for the big promotion at work it may be better to go with a male life coach. A male life coach might tend to be more logical and less focused on the emotional aspects. (OK. I know this sounds old fashioned and non-feminist but I believe there are tendencies in males and females - and certainly exceptions. Viva la difference!)

Females tend to be more nurturing and emotional and therefore may be better suited to help in a situation where you are trying to improve your relationships or yourself. Of course, remember that this is not always the case and sometimes men relate better to women or the other way around. The best thing to do is interview a couple of each and determine who you connect the best with and who you feel most comfortable with.

I myself have never had a male coach. I don't have a big problem working on my goals or being logical but I sometimes want the support of someone with both high intuition and high emotional intelligence. Certainly that could be either a man or woman. It just hasn't happened for me to have a male life coach - yet.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

This Is Exactly Why I Chose Not To Get A Life Coach Certification

Life Coach Certification Or NOT

I'm involved in a life coaching forum and was perusing the entries one day and found an online conversation fraught with frustrations and stress. The stress and frustration had to do with a coach's inability to share their  wisdom, knowledge and experience with the client. They had their own life coach certification. One of the posts was something like this,

" … unfortunately, as (a certain brand) coach we are not supposed to impart our wisdom. We are supposed to draw it out of client. I bite my tongue because I want to share some of what has been talked about here, but I am in life coach certification right now and my supervisor reminds me that I am supposed to be wisdomless and bring it out of the client because they are naturally creative, resourceful and whole."

This is exactly why I haven't gone through a formal life coach certification program.

I believe my clients are naturally creative, resourceful and whole also. They're wise enough to seek support when they are going through challenges, change and transition. It seems to me it is almost unkind and callous to withhold these thoughts from a client.

So as a result, my style of coaching includes mentoring in addition to coaching (asking powerful questions) which means besides helping the client plumb the depths of their own intuition, knowledge, inner guidance and wisdom, I often advise, counsel, guide and/or teach.

I continuously remind the client that they will know and that I am not them nor in them so I could be completely wrong but I have found that they come to rely and respect what I offer them since I too have often walked in their shoes and continue to walk my own path of transformation daily.

Having lived 70 years and consciously pursued a personal and spiritual growth path and being an acute observer of the human condition – mine and others – I feel it is my responsibility and joy to share that with those who ask. The counsel that I give can not be found through life coach certification but through life itself.

Now that you're done, I have one thing left I'd like you to do.

I'd love to hear your thoughts so comment below and (uh oh this is 2) please follow this blog over there on the right. I'd love to get to know you.