How Not to Cry
This morning I viewed a wonderful little video created by my friend, Dr. Jane Bolton, a therapist friend of mine.The story goes like this: we're little. We cry. The adults don't want to hear it for whatever their reasons. They tell us big girls don't cry or you cry too much or you have it so good you have no reason to cry. Whatever. So we learn that crying is bad or embarrassing or immature or something not OK.
But did you ever think that crying has a purpose?
Well, it does. It is a wonderful release. I believe it is a necessary release of emotion and it cleanses away many difficult feelings. For me, I believe it saved my life. I cried very easily as a child with lots of reasons that were valid. No child likes being yelled at and criticized on a very constant basis. It was a big release for me who was not allowed much of any other feeling except happiness. For 37 years I lived with someone - first mother then husband - who made me feel bad and fearful. And so I cried. Within two months of having finally left that husband in 1980, every one of my 4 children who were then 6, 7, 10 and 14 at the time noticed that, "You no longer cry everyday, Mommy." That's because my predominant feeling at the time was gratitude for no longer living in fear and unhappiness.
The upshot of these experiences is that I know that crying is like releasing a safety valve and that we were made as humans to experience all of it - anger, fear, hurt, sadness, happiness, joy. And crying is a great way to release those feelings that don't feel good and even a way often to express joy.
I've never really written about my thoughts on crying and how sad I feel when I hear people apologizing for crying. Your tears are a gift to whomsoever gets to hear you - and hopefully give you a hug.
YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching
YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching
