Drinking From An Empty Well
Dedicated to All Mothers Who Have Trouble Letting Go
I hate to let people go from my life - particularly ones who are fun, smart, emotionally connected and with whom the love flows back and forth. But sometimes people want to leave and I have to let them go.
Oh, I'll keep figuratively knocking on their door for awhile with email and phone messages but when I get no response over and over, what else can I do? I'll try to take it personally for a little while also. My mind will keep going 'round and 'round with "what did I do" or "what is about me they don't like".
But I recognize those old self-defeating tapes - the ones I used in the past to keep myself from having a fulfilling life. They aren't real. I know I didn't do anything to them and I am fine just the way I am.
They have their reasons for leaving. Maybe their life has become so busy that my importance in their scheme of things has changed. Or maybe something is happening in their lives they think I'll disapprove of (people often make me and my husband into "parents"). Or maybe they are overwhelmed with some big, hard thing and can't manage to reach out. Or... Or... whatever!
I love them. I still miss them occasionally but my life has moved on too. And I meet the most amazing fabulous people almost every day of my life.
My trick for relieving myself of pain as soon as I can is to look for what's good about what's happening or how I can grow from it. How I can grow from letting people go is I can continue to feel a flow inside instead of tight spots that could blossom into physical pain or illness. If I continue to learn about letting go, I allow many new experiences into my life. Are you holding onto anyone or anything that wants to leave?
