Drinking From An Empty Well
Dedicated to All Mothers Who Have Trouble Letting Go
I hate to let people go from my life - particularly ones who are fun, smart, emotionally connected and with whom the love flows back and forth. But sometimes people want to leave and I have to let them go.
Oh, I'll keep figuratively knocking on their door for awhile with email and phone messages but when I get no response over and over, what else can I do? I'll try to take it personally for a little while also. My mind will keep going 'round and 'round with "what did I do" or "what is about me they don't like".
But I recognize those old self-defeating tapes - the ones I used in the past to keep myself from having a fulfilling life. They aren't real. I know I didn't do anything to them and I am fine just the way I am.
They have their reasons for leaving. Maybe their life has become so busy that my importance in their scheme of things has changed. Or maybe something is happening in their lives they think I'll disapprove of (people often make me and my husband into "parents"). Or maybe they are overwhelmed with some big, hard thing and can't manage to reach out. Or... Or... whatever!
I love them. I still miss them occasionally but my life has moved on too. And I meet the most amazing fabulous people almost every day of my life.
My trick for relieving myself of pain as soon as I can is to look for what's good about what's happening or how I can grow from it. How I can grow from letting people go is I can continue to feel a flow inside instead of tight spots that could blossom into physical pain or illness. If I continue to learn about letting go, I allow many new experiences into my life. Are you holding onto anyone or anything that wants to leave?
Oh we all experience this (us being mainly women. I hardly know a man who has such in depth feelings for dissecting why a friendship has broken down).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I have major hang ups about these kind of breakdowns (I think its the Aquarius in me) ..... I need a logical answer before I move on. So I spend days/weeks/months deliberating, dillying and dallying about it until it becomes just a moments thought rather than a days hang up with my chin resting on my hands.
Im finding these days to just let go. The hurt is still there but I have decided I need to make my head more clear to allow positivity to flow into its space.
I'm 37 years old, Im getting wiser but it doesn't mean I still don't hurt.
Love your thoughts by the way. You make my days seem clearer :)
I enjoyed this post Maia as I have found letting go of people who I have shared special times in my life can be painful. I cope by making up a story about why they won't return my calls or emails and unfortunately I start with questioning what I might have done wrong. I change the story and look at what they might have done that they don't want to own up to. Gradually I find a version that makes the most sense and keep that as my truth. I then settle into accepting that person is part of my past. I know I have changed a great deal over my life and some people have a hard time with some of my choices. Not everyone can accept my truths being told. www.questpublishing.ca
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