The Secret Need of Modern Women- An Insight for Living

An Insight for Living

Got anybody's attention yet? You know who you are. You love what you do. You can't wait to....coach, see therapy patients, work on your website, write in your blog, go on Facebook, create a new class, write a new e-book, etc.

You have working relationships with family, friends, partners, etc. You exercise several times a week and eat healthy. You have everything you ever wanted. So all your needs are satisfied, right?

• Then why do you feel a little bored?
• Why can't you quite find the juice to express gratitude in a feeling way for all that you have?
• Why do you feel a little resentful of your loving partner when he/she is around and hasn't done anything untoward?

The Secret:
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ALONE TIME WHERE ALL YOU DO IS NURTURE YOURSELF. This is truly an insight for living.

No work. No giving - except to yourself. No supporting - except yourself. And, most important, no self-judgment about how much time you are wasting and could be doing something else because "I'm happy and lucky", right?

It's supposed to be an OLD story that women are only nurturers. Many fought for equal rights. Most of us observe that men watch sports or play sports or have a hobby with no guilt - just enjoyment. That is a man's insight for living. Well, that's one of our rights also.

What day are you going to take for yourself? Or, what hour? And what are you going to do that is just for you?

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

What Does "Owning Your Power" Mean?

Introducing, (your name goes here) the great!

How Do I "Own My Power"?

Our neuroses are the raw material out of which an interesting personality may be crafted.
Original Self, Thomas Moore 2000, Harper Collins, p. 15

 

I've been a study in holding myself back. These are some of the ways I've done it:

• I’ve given certain people too much power. I think they know or can do more or better than I can. Thinking that I have tried to almost BE them. Guess what? You can't be anyone but yourself.

• I’ve protected someone close to me from the judgment of others. For example, I never wanted my mother to know when I was hurt or angry with my ex-husband. I guess I didn’t want to let her think she was right. She didn’t like how he treated me (and I didn’t like how he or she treated me). The funny thing about this is that SHE was the one who he reminded me of and who changed a happy sensitive little girl into a person who would totally ignore her own knowledge that this man was never going to be a good partner for me.

• I’ve said I was going to do something – and then didn’t follow through like the zillions of times I said I was going to lose weight – and didn’t. How loving is that to me?

How have you held yourself back? Are your boundaries being stepped on? Do you keep your word – especially to yourself?

Here’s an assignment to help you get your power back. Every day ask someone what they value in you. The more stuck or depressed you are feeling the more important it is to ask this question. The more you don't want to do it, the more you need to.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching 

Letting Go of Clients Is Like Letting Go of Butterflies

Life Is a School

I fully subscribe to the concept that Life Is a School and so the events of my life often take on powerful meaning and personal growth. They serve as signposts along my life's journey. On Election Day one of those significant events occurred. (If you want to read about it, click here .) The long and short of it is that we ended up with 7 year newer, better car, a car payment and a new source of revenue - a new client.

Which brings me to the new client. We are such an amazing energy match! She is my perfect client: aware, spiritually-oriented, bright, creative and has a somewhat limited view of how truly fabulous she is. I love our conversations and know our work together will bring us both to new heights.

As often happens in the beginning of a gigantic personal growth journey, something very big happens in your life - most often a truly important outer experience reflecting your inner resistance. My car incident could easily be categorized as an example of that. Well, my new client ended up with a very big experience of food poisoning.** It had her being taken back and forth to the hospital and experiencing gigantic pain and scary pre-diagnoses prior to the doctors figuring out what was really going on physically.

All of this threw her into big turmoil and apprehension and she put our coaching on hold.

Switch to me now and think about my experience of all this. Of course I feel real concern for her physical condition - and then there's that other niggley little thought, "what if she changes her mind and I don't have this source of income?" Now I know who that voice belongs to. It's the voice of my ego in it's incarnation as a worried mom. I know that is the voice of no trust, fear and not-enough. From  my  own  personal  growth, I know to ignore that voice and not let it take over. But it did not fully heed my snub. While sitting on the couch minding my business, it snuck right in and started shouting!

I   had  to  use the tools that I  have taught to  my  clients in  their own personal growth.  It was the mentality  of "Life is a  School" that put my energy  and feelings  into a more positive place.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching 

WHY HURT? - Expressing Emotional Pain

Expressing Your Emotional Pain

Are you afraid of your feelings?

You could have looked at this subtitle and thought one of two things:  "What's the big deal? We all know how to deal with our feelings" or "Yes. I think my feelings are too big or too many or too scary". For those with the second comment: sometimes when we find a challenge, like in addressing our emotional pain, their are benefits. Only, if we look.

I don't know what it's like in other states on other freeways but you've probably heard we have lots of traffic here in L.A.

Well, I'm scared of driving on the freeway and so  I usually don't unless someone else is driving. A couple of weeks ago my husband was driving in pretty heavy weekend traffic going south on the 405. Sometimes when we drive we chat about this and that (in between grousing about the traffic and drivers). This day we were chatting about how lucky we are to have been trained how to deal with our feelings and emotional pain when along comes a license plate saying WHY HURT.

WHY HURT  can mean more than one thing. It can mean:

• First- "You don't have to hurt" and I agree with that. We can make a choice. Unfortunately, many think they can't, but still, WHY HURT?
• Second (this is the reason it struck me so) - A reason to feel  hurt (if you are really in touch with your feelings and know how to let them flow as they were meant to) could mean you are on your way to healing your emotional pain. HURT is milder than ANGER, on it's way to having one know their FEARs and a bit closer to LOVE and FORGIVENESS.

So I ask you: "Why hurt?" you are so close to being in a place of love and forgiveness. Why not learn and move on and become that much closer with yourself?   In the pursuit of not feeling our feelings, at the very least we become disconnected from ourselves and have problems relating to others deeply and well.

Why hurt?

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

What Are My Barriers to Personal Growth and Development?

I believe that my denial or reluctance about personal growth and development affects the balance of what I attract into my life, affects my mindset and the progress of me as a continually developing person.  If I don’t acknowledge my barriers to personal growth, I will be in terrible discomfort.

Can a friend relationship be one of my barriers to personal growth?

Here’s an example from my life: Over my lifetime in the past, I have formed powerful relationships with certain women to whom I willingly gave my power or, if I didn’t give my power away exactly, I denied the truth of some clear and subtle aspects of the relationship. I thought I was done doing that.

But several weeks ago I realized that a relationship I’ve had for 15 years had many aspects OUT OF BALANCE and I had indications and feelings for years.

For example:

• Almost all of the emotional support was going in one direction – from me to her – and had been for years
• I felt like it was an obligation to give her time and she felt like it was an obligation to give me time
• Truth be told, I no longer feel proud to call her my friend as she lives her life in ways I do not feel good about – let’s call it stagnated personal growth and development.

I could tell you stories that support the above but those stories would cloud the truth. The truth I had to be willing to allow myself to know was it was time to let this relationship go. I have done that. It was hard. I don’t like to think of myself as not loyal or a rejecting sort of person but for my own personal growth and development as a human being on Planet Earth for a fleeting lifetime, I did it. I hope it somehow has a positive effect on her but I did this for me.

I feel the peace of growth and the positive “backlash” of balance I’ve achieved.
Anything niggling at you? Take a look at your barriers to your own personal growth.

Now that you've finished reading, I have one thing left I'd like you to do.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Is it narcissism or is it self-care?

You Might Have to Change Friends

I have a client who is successfully navigating a healthy relationship with a man for the first time in her 46 years! Her work on herself is wondrous. She has healed a scarily abusive childhood, healed very damaged self-esteem and most recently lost over 80 pounds. In chatting with her today, she commented that she is a "bit narcissistic". When we discussed what she meant by that, I realized she was really talking about self care.

I am not a therapist and I'm not going to look for a definition of narcissism that a therapist might use. I'm going to define narcissism to be what I understand from my therapist friends. As far as I understand narcissism is pretty much not being able to see beyond your own belly button. It's all about you. You are never wrong. All roads lead to you.

This is very different than being a person who observes their behavior and wants to see where and whether she is acting from self love.

If she is truly taking care of herself - most particularly when she has never really had a good relationship with a partner in her whole life and wants some very positive change, then deep, thoughtful, very observant self care is vital. That is not narcissism. That is not whatever else others have accused you of when you wanted to take care of yourself.

You were with the wrong people. People who truly love you, want and celebrate for you as you care for yourself. That means they support you having boundaries. That means they want you to express yourself authentically. They love you. Find and hang out with only those people.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

What Does Being a Life Coach Have to Do with Personal Power?

I see the role as life coach very simply today.  Show clients their personal power.

My job is to show my clients how to clear their path and their self view of all that says they are less than - less than deserving of material goods; less than deserving of the relationships they want with friends, family and significant other; less than deserving of anything they want.

Someone must have told us that it's only OK to want a certain amount. So a certain amount is what we get. Additionally, it is hard for us humans to remember that we came here for a purpose. In its broadest sense we came here (here being Planet Earth) to learn some other things in addition to our worthiness, our own personal power. What we learn appears to be our own choice.

For example, a client I'm working with is working on letting go of guilt and responsibility around her adult children. We spoke today about how when we enable other adults, we might keep them from growing into the wonderful humans they are in the process of becoming. When we enable other adults and rescue them from themselves, they never get to see their own inner resources or personal power nor seek the support they may decide they need or even fail and learn and grow from that.

We also spoke about the agreements we appear to make on some spiritual level in which we act in certain ways for our children's growth and they do the same for us. Therefore everyone is in agreement. No one is a victim.

I have no idea how I developed the gift of being able to teach, model, intuit all that I do with clients but it appears to be an ever-developing gift. It sure is fun to be able to see, speak and help those people who want to grow in awareness and expand their lives. I love watching the magic of transformation as it occurs.   I love holding the hand of those I work with and becoming part of their magnificent unfolding.  I love seeing those I help exercise their own personal power for their own growth and benefit. It also keeps me aware of my own.

Now that you're done, I have one thing left I'd like you to do.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Living in the Now - We Teach What We Have to Learn

Living in the Present

You know the phrase, “We teach what we have to learn”? Well, I should never be surprised that I spend a good deal of my days teaching, coaching, reminding clients about the very things I need to be reminded of. Some days I find I’ve done such a great job that my clients say exactly what I need to hear! Today was such a day.  I needed to hear that I should be living in the now and that’s what happened.

My client started describing how she believes she is overcoming her anxiety. Besides being vigilant about what thoughts she’s thinking and giving up complaining, she realized that when she consciously was living in the now situation (whatever situation or task it is she’s involved in), her experience this past week has been - way less anxiety.

Just the reminder I need. I’m not having a problem with anxiety but I sometimes have a problem of feeling emotionally flat. I believe that habit comes from my childhood when the negative feelings and sense of powerlessness was so acute for me that I had to numb out so that I could survive my childhood. And that habit has survived to some extent all these years later. But when I am living in the now, I feel myself and feel my lively, juicy interior self.

You might be wondering how you are in the now or not even know what I mean.  I’ll do it right in this moment and stop and explain the experience.

1. I stop and notice whether my full attention is on what I’m involved in. Right now I’m writing on the computer and because I write often and fairly easily, I notice that part of me is a little absent which means I am not in the present.


2. Now I come out from behind what feels like an inner door and be here with all of my attention focused on this very moment.


3. Now I’m trying to type and stay present with what I am doing – notice my fingers on the keys, my eyes following the type on the screen.

I knew even as I wrote the above that it isn’t the best description in the world but, hopefully, you know what I mean, will practice a bit and can duplicate my experience of living in the now.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Barriers to Personal Growth - Do you refuse to see them?

Are You Keeping Your Head in the Sand?

Look around. Denial is everywhere - about being in a lousy relationship; about how you treated someone; about how much money you have.

Are these barriers to personal growth? Being human means we are all pretty much subject to this state of mind. I've been told it is a protective construct. I'm sure it is and it is also appropriate to take my head out of the sand and look around when I don't need that protection any more.

What I need to fully take my head out of the sand and keep it out is about frequent exercise .  This is my barrier.

I'm 71. I have definitely arrived at the "use it or lose it" stage of my life. I've been warned and exhorted and the day has arrived. I am no longer get away in the no-exercise-but-my-body-works-pretty-well-anyway stage. Today while going for a walk, I had a teensy moment of experiencing an "old person's" step.

I don't know how else to describe it. For a short fraction of a moment as I was walking, my step felt a bit weak and a bit unsteady. I doubt if anyone could have seen it if they were watching but I have fine sensitivity about things happening in my body and I felt it. It was really there.

These days when I go a week without exercise, my balance  standing on one foot is a bit shaky, my arms and legs aren't as strong and I can tell that my posture is drooping. When I do exercise very frequently, none of the previous things is extremely true.

I've never been an athlete so I don't expect an athlete's effectiveness but I don't want an old person's ineffectiveness. I don't want to be one of those people with a walker or any other aid. I want to be fully functioning until the body needs to leave the planet.

What are your barriers to personal growth?

So, now that I've lifted the tightly held cover off of my hole in the sand, I'll ask you again, "What are YOU in denial about?"

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Would a Spiritual Life Coach Be What You Are Looking for?

Spiritual Journey - Me?

There are life coaches that can help you with every aspect of your life including your spiritual life.

• Do you find yourself spending your whole life waiting for everything to be settled in your lives before you can be happy?
• Do you think with more money you will be happy? More money or more time or when the kids grow up or when you retire?
• Do you think things just happen and they often "happen" to you?

By putting off your happiness this way, what you are doing is wasting your time in hopes of some future happiness. A spiritual life coach can help you stop putting off your happiness waiting for some big life-changing event to happen and help you learn to live in the present moment – which, by the way, is all you really have. A spiritual life coach can help you see meaning in the happenings in your life today.

True happiness comes when you accept yourself and your life the way that it currently is. A spiritual life coach can help you learn to do this so that you can move forward and learn to live in the moment. (It almost sounds like an oxymoron – " move forward and learn to live in the moment". But no, it is just one of the wonderful paradoxes of life.)

When you begin to accept this as a way of life, you can plan goals for your future to make the changes that you would like to that will bring you more happiness and fulfillment but get every drop of joy available in the present moment. What do you have to be grateful for now, this very moment?

A spiritual life coach can begin to help you organize your life and offer questions that will lead you in the direction that you would truly like your life to head in. Once you accept yourself and figure out what you want to change in your life to make you happy now, you can stop waiting for something that may never happen until you choose for it to. A spiritual life coach may just be the answer for you and your sense of fulfillment and happiness.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Having Emotional Wellness

Loving Yourself

I left my parents home with a horribly damaged self esteem. I then stepped into a marriage that would take 19 years to see the truth of my creation.  I had created a more challenging experience than even my childhood was for me - and further eroded my self esteem. But something magical happened when I started over at age 37. The beginnings of feeling good about who I am started to blossom. This was the start of my emotional wellness.

That was over 33 years ago and I live most days now feeling quite wonderful about who I am and my positive contributions to the planet. That's what good emotional wellness feels like to me. It encompasses me as a relationship-haver, me as a life coach, teacher and writer. It includes all areas of my life. One of the most recent areas for me to feel good about is my physical self. I love how I look even though I'm 72 and have the body of a healthy 72-year-old. I love my naturally silver-tinted hair, and I love how I dress. We all have different appearances and to appreciate our outside we must love ourselves from the inside. I call this emotional wellness.

I was just putting makeup on for an event I'm attending a bit later in the day. I could contemplate plastic surgery or trying to make myself look younger but that is not who I want to be.  Emotional wellness is seeing who you are and knowing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and loving yourself no matter what.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Journal Prompts - A Yes/No Exercise

I’ve always been big on giving my clients journal prompts because there is something inside themselves that wants to come out. As their guide on this part of their personal growth journey, sometimes I can see what the correct journal prompts would be for them to help them uncover what’s wanting to come to their awareness. Following is an example of one of those journal prompts I assigned to a client:

Maia,

Thanks for the little journal prompts exercise on yes/no.  I have done this one before, but your twist to fold the page in half, do the “no” side first, and then the “yes” side, without seeing the “no” side, was a little different.  When I did it, I had the page open and allowed myself to “respond” to each negative or positive statement as I was writing.  The value of the way you suggest is that you don’t make excuses, you write down the negatives as a total list, and then you go to the positives, which may or may not be about each point on the other list.  Of course, with both versions of the yes/no exercise, one writes down immediately “what I know right now” because it is usually quite clear, and sometimes even while only beginning the (first) negative list, what the outcome will be.

Here are mine:

On being a minister - "The road to hell is paved with good intentions!"  I have paved a path which has taken me somewhere I don't want to be.  I could use [my husband] as an excuse, but the bottom line is if I really wanted to do it, his wants would not be a factor - I would respect him and also do what I wanted.  Instead, I feel pulled, and want to put the "blame" on him - I don't want to do it, either, but feel obligated.  This is not what I thought it would be like.  I don't want to do it, and need a way to exit gracefully.

On being a life coach - What I know right now is that I have a few fears around coaching which don't "hold water".  I'm not getting paid as a minister, so why do I worry about getting clients? They come, or not.  They see the value, or not.  We're all free here.   If they want to be coached, they pay.  It doesn't have to be a long-term relationship.  What are their goals?  Let's get in and get it done.  I mean that - sounds like Dave Buck!  I know more than I am usually willing to admit.  I'm not perfect - I've made mistakes, and I've come through them to the happy, sane, pleasant, fulfilling life I'm living now.  I will always be a learner and a seeker, and I am willing and ready to engage in coaching in order to share this with others.

Again, Maia, I am eternally grateful.  Thank you!

Anita Marbois

Isn’t it lovely to have a job where a few journal prompts brings such awareness and such lovely gratitude?

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching 

Self Awareness - the Way to See Your Personal Development Progress

Self Awareness

Just want to say a word about my journey. I see through my own self awareness that I have come such a long way. I noticed this when observing my reactions with clients calling or not calling. When it comes to wondering if someone will actually call to become my client when they say they are going to.

I used to fret and worry and take their calling - or not - very personally. I was sure it was a rejection of me. My mind got very loud and plugged into old self esteem issues.

I see how much better my reaction is now. Through my own growth and self awareness I know my own strengths and gifts.  I do know what I give my clients and what benefits they gain. My mind tries to go back to my old ways, like a tongue with a space where a tooth used to be, but it’s little and light compared to the past.

But whether it is a potential client not calling back or my own adult child not liking something I am or am not doing, I am grateful for my progress. I am self aware and I see a peaceful and growing woman.

Radical Self Acceptance/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching 

Positive Thinking and the Economy Go Together

If I hear "this economy" one more time..!

I know that we all can individually have an impact on this world, whether it is through our negative or positive thinking. So if we focus on our positive thinking and this economy, could we change this negative light that surrounds the world right now? I remember hearing Carolyn Myss talk about the fact that we all like to bond with each other by talking about our wounds. Well, she's right. Almost everyone I talk to these days wants to say those two words in the title to me with a certain negative emotional oomph. Because I know how Law of Attraction works and because I am experiencing a tremendous amount of prosperity in my life, I'm not buying into this attempt to pull the planet in a negative direction. We have enough of that.

Abraham Hicks says we get more of what we focus on which is another way of talking about Law of Attraction.

Question: So what if you are in a job you're not crazy about and you also think this isn't the right time (see title) to try to change jobs? How can you still vibrate at a rate that will attract your desired outcomes and will feel good in your body?

Answer : Use your job experience as a way to grow yourself. Learn how to change your attitude about it and watch yourself go through that process. Find the good/lesson in this change and focus on your positive thinking.

Example from my life: In 2001 my husband and I lost all our money. We were 58 and 66 respectively. In 2003 my then 70-year-old husband got himself hired by Los Angeles Unified School District as a high school Physics teacher. Imagine starting a new career with 100+ inner city teenagers in your classes daily and of completely different background than he ever interacted with much and that's what his daily work life is like. Imagine also being required to fulfill a 3-year Master's equivalent program at the same time. Here's how he's handled it:

• He uses it to grow his organization abilities which he's ignored throughout his life.


• He uses it to watch himself become an amazing teacher.


• He uses it to see if how he could offer these kids a faster track into a successful life than their background, education and financial situation would normally allow.


• He uses as a way to keep him taking care of his body so he can do it. You should see him doing pull ups, push ups and using Wii Fit.

I could go on and on about him but I think you can see he's taken full responsibility for his life and his attitude and treats this situation as a way to grow. He's gained so much by feeling in charge of his life.  Rather than moaning about the state of our finances and how unlucky we were, he focused on his positive thinking and it has made all the difference.

How can you make use of your job or career to grow as a human and make a positive thinking contribution to the planet?

http://www.radicalselfacceptance.guru/ 

Exercise - Taking Care of My Aging Body

Exercise!

Well, when your reputation is staked on being able to find the good and learning from everything, you can't just start becoming a victim of either your aging body or any beliefs about what aging means. So my adventure here on Planet Earth at age 70 is like this and this is what I'm learning:

An aging body will sure teach you to take care of your body. The results of not doing it can be felt almost immediately. I pretty much got through my life doing a very minimum of exercise still looking OK and being able to move rather automatically.

Can't get away with that any more. It doesn't matter whether I have issues and want to take my time getting over this, it will not cooperate. If I don't exercise frequently - like daily - I feel not great in my body and my balance and strength dwindles perceptibly even though I eat very, very healthy and have done so for years.

OK. I WILL LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO TAKE COMPLETE CARE OF MY BODY. NO EXCUSES!

Being Mindful of Wednesdays

Allow your natural rhythms. Honor the seasons of nature and the rhythms of your life.

Being present to the life that presses upon us does not mean simply being alert and full of consciousness. Surrendering to a daydream or a memory may be a way of being engaged with the present. Drifting into reverie might bring us to the full immediacy of the moment, which may be properly focused on invisible things. Turned inward, we might be completely present , and conversely, being wide awake to life might be a distraction and, to the soul, a kind of sleep.    Thomas Moore

What he's talking about is a creative process – even the creative stuff you don’t like.  You might be in a relationship that doesn’t work and you are at the point where it seems that nothing can change. You might feel powerless to change or you can’t stand it any more and can’t see a way out.

These are the Wednesdays of life.

It’s flat; it’s up against a wall.  But it is part of the creative process of life.

It seemed like that in my first marriage. It also seemed like that while writing a book for the first time.

There are many ways to look at these Wednesdays of life—from the perspective of trying to get to the weekend—which is where I really come alive, have fun, relax.

Endure the week for the big payoff—From that perspective Wednesdays energy is that of impasse, de-energized, depression, static, inertia, stuck, blocks and up against the wall.

I’ve discovered that the creative processes of life itself are full of Wednesdays and that the weekend could be a metaphor for the big payoff—the book, the project, the life passage, etc.

From this perspective Wednesdays have become a synonym for “just before the breakthrough”—

It’s often that after a flurry of creative process', lots of creative juice and productivity a period of malaise, discontent and sometimes even apparent chaos precedes breakthrough. THIS IS GOOD!

It typically comes about midway in a project - hence the name - Wednesday.

Now that you're done, I have one thing left I'd like you to do.

I'd love to hear your thoughts so comment below and (uh oh this is 2) please follow this blog over there on the right. I'd love to get to know you.

Why I Won't Call an Old Friend One More Time

Drinking From An Empty Well

Dedicated to All Mothers Who Have Trouble Letting Go

I hate to let people go from my life - particularly ones who are fun, smart, emotionally connected and with whom the love flows back and forth. But sometimes people want to leave and I have to let them go.

Oh, I'll keep figuratively knocking on their door for awhile with email and phone messages but when I get no response over and over, what else can I do? I'll try to take it personally for a little while also. My mind will keep going 'round and 'round with "what did I do" or "what is about me they don't like".

But I recognize those old self-defeating tapes - the ones I used in the past to keep myself from having a fulfilling life. They aren't real. I know I didn't do anything to them and I am fine just the way I am.

They have their reasons for leaving. Maybe their life has become so busy that my importance in their scheme of things has  changed. Or maybe something is happening in their lives they think I'll disapprove of (people often make me and my husband into "parents"). Or maybe they are overwhelmed with some big, hard thing and can't manage to reach out. Or... Or... whatever!

I love them. I still miss them occasionally but my life has moved on too. And I meet the most amazing fabulous people almost every day of my life.

My trick for relieving myself of pain as soon as I can is to look for what's good about what's happening or how I can grow from it. How I can grow from letting people go is I can continue to feel a flow inside instead of tight spots that could blossom into physical pain or illness. If I continue to learn about letting go, I allow many new experiences into my life. Are you holding onto anyone or anything that wants to leave?