Making Sure We Have Relationship Support
My Martian and I have certain times that we set aside just for our relationship support. Every morning before school we have a little sacred time together. It certainly is not the same as a weekend in the country but it creates a beautiful everyday-ness to our lives. The Martian leaves for work at around 6:30 a.m. We get up by 4:00 a.m. to have enough time to do what we do without him rushing off and us not having a few minutes to connect.
It's at these little meetings for our relationship support that we catch each other up on what's happening in our lives, plan events and like this morning - even plan a little bit into the future. In December we are going to visit our kids and we are making reservations, etc.
In the past he has been at such a high level of stress by the time the semester is over, it was important that he has the time off to relax. Now after 8 years of teaching, he isn't that stressed. And on the day this is published he has a birthday. His 79th! and still teaching!
In the past when he was on vacation, I had trouble adjusting to having him in my "work space" - our home but we are each learning how to do this.
How does this all refer to Secret #5, 9 and 11?
- Secret #5 - By discussing what he's thinking about into the future, the Martian is respecting me and my desires and our sacred time.
- Secret #9 - By discussing what he's thinking about into the future, the Martian is making sure our sacred time is cared for. Certainly during the 2 month work breaks, we've had more of that then when he's working.
- Secret #11 - We are both following our own path. the Martian has a need to road test a new class in Robotics and doing it when he's not working full time is great self-care for him and me remaining aware of my his-needs-are-more-important tendencies are important to that pattern dissipating.
These are the ways that we have relationship support. It is important for me to not only respect the Martian's time and visa versa but also be aware of the individual path I must take. Being aware of both simultaneously allows us to be supportive of our relationship.
I don't always understand what Maia is talking about and this is one of those times, I guess. I need clarification. You have to understand that I read the posts by Maia without discussing them with her and then I write a response to what I think I read.
ReplyDeleteIn this case I think it's about the value of finding some time together each day in spite of a busy schedule and using that time to connect with each other on an emotional and intellectual level. In other words, try to understand where or what page the other person is on.
That's OK and some days I need it more than other days. I think it tends to be a cumulative thing that can get away from you if you are not careful and before you know it you and your significant other are on different pages and not communicating much.
The thing is that there are a lot of skills that are developed (or not) along the way in a relationship and this is just one more that works for us.
Das ist Mallorca Mallorca Mallorca die Insel der Liebe und Sonne
ReplyDeleteIt is so simple, yet so much needed and appreciated to have these relationship support times. Whether it be a quick 10 minutes over breakfast, a few words before going to bed or actually plan a date together - they are all pieces of the puzzle that too many relationships are missing. Thank you for driving this fact home.
ReplyDeleteJust thought i would comment and say neat design, did you code it yourself? Looks great.
ReplyDelete