If I write out my feelings, I will feel better - basically the idea behind journaling. I will also become more clear and, as a natural-born teacher, I can offer my experience to benefit others. So here goes. I'm calling it "Love Wears Many Faces or Acts of Love".
For many, many years my husband and I have created a morning ritual/habit whereby we get up very early which sort of fits our biological clock and gives us time to connect in the morning. But in many ways, it has stopped working.
- I've been noticing that we are not that interested in what each other is saying. (Of course, the little girl in me wants to say "HE is not interested in what I am saying and I go out of my way to care" but knowing that it takes two, let's just say it's "each other".
- I've been wanting to sleep quite often later than 4am but get up anyway.
- I'm kind of tired of being so out of sync with most of the rest of my world. We almost never consider doing stuff at night because it's such a big disruption in our schedule, etc.
So this morning I was dying to finish this conversation which has started because I'm a little bent out of shape because he actually admitted that he was thinking of something else the whole time I was telling him something important to me. My "act of love" was leaving it for another time and not laying my whole emotional deal on him right before he leaves for work.
How can I not love and respect a man who continues to support me in every way possible including financially at 80 years old? How can I not know from 30 years with him that he absolutely IS interested in what I am doing and saying? How can I see him off to work giving him a hard time to have to deal with on the way?
And you know what's sad, we didn't kiss goodbye? I wish I could run out and chase his bus and get that kiss in.
I think we just need to look at this as an indication that what we have done out of love has turned into an almost unconscious habit. Neither one of us wants to end being like so many couples we see at The Coffee Bean early in the morning on the weekend who are reading the paper and not talking at all or couples we see out at restaurants doing the same.
Life is a school and today it became very clear that we need a little shake-up of our schedule to wake-up and figure out new ways and time to connect.
YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching
YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching
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Thank you for your thoughts.