Appreciating Each Others' Gifts
The year my family and friends celebrated my 65th birthday with me, we had about 16 people including 3 noisy little boys ages 8, 4 and almost 3 in my not that big living room. It was joyful mayhem at its best.
I was discussing the wonderfulness of it all and the Martian said he realized that one of the things he wants to learn from me is how to create a loving family and friends as I have done.
He reiterated how both his mother and father left their families behind and subtly and not so subtly gave him and his sister the message that people and particularly families are too much bother and trouble. We all know that families are bother and trouble. To me there is so much happiness from the relationship support I have with my family and friends. There is great joy and richness in working out of the bother and trouble.
Here's a couple of quotes from my step-daughter's special birthday gift to me 70 Things I Love About You. (Are you curious why it's 70 not 65? When I was 60 she mistakenly made a list of 65 which we all laughed about but I wouldn't let her take any away so now she's creating a tradition of giving me 5 extra. I like it!)
#14. Your unconditional love for all your children and grandchildren#15. The pride you have in your children for both large and small accomplishments#50. The way you allow others to be themselves
This is one of my gifts but it was not always this way. My family was a crazy one including a cheating dad who molested me and a raging mother who focused a lot of that rage on me. But along with their dysfunction I also saw how they made their best friend's family into their own. The Martian saw almost no one ever even visit his childhood home. I had to take the lessons and gifts from my childhood and create my own relationship support.
I love having this gift but how extraordinarily wonderful it is that my husband not only appreciates the gift in me, tells me he appreciates it but wants to change his ways and develop this talent in himself?!
So the next Saturday he invited my daughter, his step-daughter for 29 years to have breakfast with us and I noticed he went out of his way all day yesterday to give out more special hugs than he often does.
Even if your family is scattered or dysfunctional and you want nothing to do with them, you can create a family of loving friends and have the joy that family can bring.
YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching
YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching
I'm the guy and this post by Maia is about how the two of us (Maia and I) are different in some respects because the families we were born into had different ways of relating to friends and relatives.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's true, Maia and I are different in many ways, physically, emotionally and many other ways you can think of but, hey, there's the fun, there's the contrast. I mean unless you're a total narcissist, how boring would it be to be married to yourself?
For me, it's exciting to discover, celebrate and cherish these differences. Nobody is right or wrong just different.