This blog is turning out to also be a bit of a forum for life coaches - not just people who might be interested in hiring a coach. One of my favorite client experiences has been helping a newbie client take off into her coaching practice and responding to questions like these from a reader of this blog:
Thanks so much Maia for your response to my question about coaching clients who can tend to be looking for someone to listen to them rather than in taking action. Yes, I have indeed been asking lot of questions to get my client to be more specific about what he wishes to get from the coaching, but it's proving hard to pin him down (especially as it's coaching via email). As you say, it's important to confirm exactly what someone wants to achieve from the coaching so that I'm clear on what they expect from me - and to ensure we are a good fit.
Tamsin Butters, nudgeme (http://nudgeme.co.uk)
Part of the role I play with many clients is partly listening but I always find out early on what I'm listening for. What I mean by that is: if I know where a client is headed, then I can hear if their account of what's happening with them sounds like its heading in the direction they want to go. I am good at listening between the lines so no problem. But I don't think I'd want to work with a client who was email only. I definitely exchange email with clients in between sessions but email is a funny and tricky thing and easily misinterpreted.
Thanks Maia. Interesting point re: coaching by email only – this particular client just wasn’t in a position to pay for full coaching fees hence my coming to this arrangement with him. I think it can depend on someone’s writing skills and what they want to work on, and sometimes in these hectic times, people are keen on coaching, but less able to tie themselves to calls at a set time. Yes, knowing where someone wants to get to makes it much easier to ‘hear’ whether they are on the right track (although in this instance, the client is not so interested in a specific goal as having a more general sounding board to test out his thoughts about things. I'll keep you posted on how things go!
ReplyDeleteAll the best
Tamsin/nudgeme
I agree with Maia -- coaching is an up close and personal process. That's why I find that e mail only communication is not conducive to an effective coaching relationship. If a client approached me saying that he or she had only the money or time for an e mail coaching relationship, I would suggest that he or she find another coach. I prefer voice contact for my coaching assignments.
ReplyDeleteAll the best,
Bud Bilanich
Hi Maia and Tasmin,
ReplyDeleteI think it would be difficult to coach someone entirely by e-mail. Listening is vital to coaching, and I'm not sure you can get to the level of understanding and comprehension needed through reading an e-mail. There's no doubt that you can help the client through an e-mail only relationship, but I expect it'd be much less than through conversation.
Also, I'd question the client some more on his expectations. Since he isn't willing to invest in more than just the e-mail coaching (although I know money is tight for nearly everyone these days) and he seems to want just a sounding board, I wonder if coaching is what he needs. If there's no action by the client, then there's been no coaching.
I hope that adds to the dialogue.
Steve DeVane
Great post! I never thought about the difficulties that coaching via emails only could present. You are certainly right that things can be misinterpreted and it will be a while before there is a response so things can be fixed immediately.
ReplyDeleteI had a pro-bono telehone client for 6 weeks who just seemed to want to talk about issues in her past. The first week I was asking questions about her relationship, then we moved onto her career and ended up looking at how she nurtured herself. I dont feel I really got anywhere - I did a lot of questioning to bring her back to the present and set her activities, but could not get her to focus on what she wanted in the future. I think that as it was early days, I was accepting anybody rather than focusing on my niche.
ReplyDeleteI would add something. I think you guys probably weren't a good match. I think every coach has what they love to work on and we become clearer, we seem to be able to tell almost immediately from the first connection whether it's a good idea to accept the client or not. I have to be having fun too - meaning I walk away from the session happy and satisfied with the interaction. It's a good test for me.
ReplyDeleteI think that some of the commenters are blaming the modality (email coaching) when there were likely other issues at play. I recently hired a coach via email and it was an extremely positive experience. The coach was only available via email because he is an extremely busy and successful person with an unpredictable schedule, and I was willing to try it because it was liberating to be freed from scheduling and I enjoy writing. I thought the coaching was both effective and a terrific value. So perhaps let's not make sweeping conclusions based on one coach/client struggle.
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