Sticking with My Life Coaching Tools

I recently had the opportunity to appreciate my own insight into my life coaching tools. These tools that I use to help others I have a process by which I use them.  For many reasons I learned why I must stick with these tools.

In a social networking environment online, I met another coach. Her work is completely different than mine. She helps people who are reluctant to network and sell. Well, we were chatting on the phone and learning what we each do and thinking about how we could help each other when I got an idea. We could coach each other. She needs help with her relationship with an in-law and I had not been able to come up with a way to network in-person locally that worked for me. I was in the financial services business in the past and found the cold-calling part highly uncomfortable. More recently I have attended local networking groups and have found them either uncomfortable or unfruitful.The other life coach, lets call her Meg, has a very challenging relationship with her daughter-in-law. It was a great idea to help each other out.  I soon realized that I could not rush my life coaching tools into the situations. We needed to take our time and get to know each other and follow what I know works when coaching someone on deep issues.

Turns out Meg gave me a brilliant idea to start my own networking group via meetup.com and I have and the first meeting is next week and it seems that it has gone over very will from the people who’ve joined and are going to attend. So basically my issue appears to be solved. But hers is bigger and will likely take her longer to master.

In an unconscious attempt at trying to help her quickly so our situations and the help we provided each other wouldn’t feel so out of balance, I hurried my process which often includes telling stories of examples of how things worked for me or others - as a teaching tool. But I swamped her with stories in a short period of time. Fortunately, we both realized this error and have come up with a possible solution. We are both comfortable with open, clean communication (a sign of a highly functioning coach), so I have no doubt this will work out fine.

I commit to remember  my own life coaching tools that works and can’t be pushed or pulled for a friend or another life coach or anyone. That doesn’t mean there isn’t flexibility but rather all the parts need to happen to honor each person’s special situation.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Does Your Life Coach Tell You the Hard Things?

Things you should be hearing...

On a regular basis if you tell friends of yours things like:

• "Are you telling yourself the truth about being happy with your weight?"
• "I don't work for nothing."
• "How many things of the many we brainstormed together have you actually done to expand your business? Make a list of all of them, next to it put how much or how many times you have done and then email me each time you do one."
• "Do you think your son is telling you the whole truth? What do you think is really true?"
• "If you put that much money on your credit card and give him the money, what will be his incentive to pay you back?"
• "You have trained him to treat you with no respect."
• "Do you actually have to spend so much money on the cleaners?"

My hand is raised. If yours is raised because you have recently told people these things or things like them all in the last couple of weeks, you are probably a life coach yourself or might want to thing about it.

Often the job of a life coach is to be willing to tell clients the hard things they pay you to hear because they've been ignoring their own inner voices that tell them the same things. It helps to hear it from another person with who you have set your goals and who will help you hold yourself to them.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching  

Benefits of Working with a Professional Life Coach

So many of us are striving to be successful in life. Often it is no easy task. We've all heard the success stories but tend to be more familiar with those who continue to struggle. Realizing they need an added shot of motivation, some have hired a life coach, an intimate procedure that can have a tremendous impact on your life.

A professional life coach can help you optimize your efforts from a career aspect, teaching you how to reach goals by showing you how you might be getting in your own way. A life coach has a personal goal to provide advice and helpful tips that allow you to maximize your potential and generate positive results.

Life coaching involves much more than helping you reach career goals. Financial success is important but personal situations play huge roles in our overall well-being. When teamed up with a professional life coach, you can learn how to become more familiar with your interior life and blocks that are keeping you from your success.

A life coach can help you in various areas whether you have experienced problems with finances or even relationships. Whatever your issues may be, there is an expert that can provide you with the valuable information needed to overcome some of life's most troubling woes.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching  

Is it narcissism or is it self-care?

You Might Have to Change Friends

I have a client who is successfully navigating a healthy relationship with a man for the first time in her 46 years! Her work on herself is wondrous. She has healed a scarily abusive childhood, healed very damaged self-esteem and most recently lost over 80 pounds. In chatting with her today, she commented that she is a "bit narcissistic". When we discussed what she meant by that, I realized she was really talking about self care.

I am not a therapist and I'm not going to look for a definition of narcissism that a therapist might use. I'm going to define narcissism to be what I understand from my therapist friends. As far as I understand narcissism is pretty much not being able to see beyond your own belly button. It's all about you. You are never wrong. All roads lead to you.

This is very different than being a person who observes their behavior and wants to see where and whether she is acting from self love.

If she is truly taking care of herself - most particularly when she has never really had a good relationship with a partner in her whole life and wants some very positive change, then deep, thoughtful, very observant self care is vital. That is not narcissism. That is not whatever else others have accused you of when you wanted to take care of yourself.

You were with the wrong people. People who truly love you, want and celebrate for you as you care for yourself. That means they support you having boundaries. That means they want you to express yourself authentically. They love you. Find and hang out with only those people.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Attract Abundance in "This Economy"!

How Can I Attract Abundance?

STOP WATCHING THE NEWS!

Every news media one reads or sees these days is predicting economic horrors or reporting on the current ones.  This cannot help you to attract abundance into your life.  Since I've been alive the past 70 years, I have lived though many different economies. What I've noticed is that just like people - they change and the change is constant.

My husband is a pretty smart guy and has a talent and gift for seeing the big picture. He says, after trying to scope it all out, that the economy is all in our minds. And I say, "We have control over those." Am I not noticing the facts? It is group consciousness that created the world economy such as it is and it is group consciousness that will create something different - one mind at a time.

Remember in the movie What the Bleep Do We Know? how we saw how we are biochemically addicted or our emotional states? (If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.) The media knows this and is selling us the fear that is addictive. Because it is addictive it keeps us coming back for more and more and more. Ultimately, as we buy into the fear that they are selling and we are addicted to, our negative vibrations then create what we have - a big, negative mess.

How can we change it?

Taking responsibility for our own minds. To attract abundance we must filter what goes into our mind and feelings. The Law of Attraction works. It works in our individual lives and it works in our group conscious mind even bigger. The more we focus, the more we will get.

So my question to you is, WHERE IS YOUR MIND FOCUSED TODAY? Have you learned how to deal with and process through your negative feelings and emotions and keep finding a way to truly be positive? Not just the words, but the actual feelings.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Insecurity in Relationships

Insecurity in relationships starts inside yourself and generally shows up in a whole variety of ways in the relationship. Generally that happens because you didn’t speak up about what you wanted or what might be bothering you from the very beginning. Of course on your first date or even 3 months into it, it’s natural for there to be some insecurity. You don’t really know each other yet and relationships unfold over time but looking back at my first major relationship, it didn’t take more then six months for me to see the problems in our relationship. But I was so insecure, I was afraid of speaking up. I might lose the relationship altogether and my precarious self esteem was dependent on the world seeing me as a winner because I felt like such a loser.

I’ve worked with many people as their coach and seen the insecurity in their relationships. But I’m an expert on that insecurity inside my young self and I can now tell you where it came from and how it showed up.

It came from the lack of security I had with my parents. I was yelled at, compared in a losing way to other girls and criticized unmercifully and often - by my mother. I was always afraid my girlfriends would think I was a loser – so insecurity in relationships with peers showed up first.

Then there was the pressure to be popular, date and marry – all, for me, fraught with insecurity and self-doubt. Imagine you were looking at this beautiful young woman who thought she was a loser – who probably tried too hard and took almost any little attention by a male as good enough. She gets asked out by a good looking boy in her freshman history class. She’ll never have to worry about not having a date again. And so it went. And so we married and stayed together in our really lousy relationship for 19 years.

Some of the reasons for insecurity in relationships lay in childhood as they did in mine. Until I began to gain some self esteem and learned that I was important enough to say what was bothering me and how I felt about another’s behavior toward me, I would continuously experience insecurity in relationships. So will you.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Fears - Barriers to Personal Growth

Fears in Control?

Allowing fears to stop you from accomplishing what you want in life might be one of the most significant barriers to personal growth.

• Say you want to stop spending your life working for others, doing a job that is largely uncreative and unsatisfying to your soul. But you know how much money is coming in every month.

• What if you don't know what you do want to do or you know but have never been in your own business and don't know how to start or all your old messages of incompetence arise? Hire a coach.

The right life coach is in their own business so they certainly can teach and support you to do the same.

The life coach will help you deal with your negative self talk.

Many people have various different fears and no matter what they are about, they can be so strong that they are completely debilitating. Many life coaches will help you with tools and techniques to overcome your fear so you can follow a clear path towards your future.

A coach will give you tools and techniques to help you over come your barriers to personal growth, of course, but the most important thing that they can give you is the confidence in yourself to know that whatever your fear is, you can handle it. Sooner or later, as you progress with your coach you will suddenly feel so strongly that you can face that fear and do whatever it is you are so scared of,  you will just jump right in and do it.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching