Love Compatibility Test: How will I know he's the one?

It would really be great if such a thing existed out there in the world. All you’d have to do is get out your trusty credit card, put in your number and the perfect questions to tell you each whether you were compatible would pop right up. And off into the sunset you’d go – either together or apart - depending on the results of the test.

That might have worked when you were 14. Some teen magazine created the test. You took it and found out yes or no.

Or you might count on the info you get from your local or online astrologer. Maybe they do know but truly, how to know if he’s the one or not is not that hard. The information is right there inside you.

Every time he makes you happy, he’s the one. Every time he does something that upsets you, angers you, hurts your feelings or makes you feel small, he is not the one. If he continues to hurt your feelings and make you feel small, he is not the one.

Now I am not so naïve as to think it’s that simple. But it could be. Here’s what you have to do to make it that simple. You have to find a way to listen to, discern and trust the emotional feedback your body gives you. You know what I’m talking about although you may not realize it.

Next time you get angry or feel sad, notice what’s going on in your body. Next time you are wildly happy, notice that and what it feels like in your body. What are you feeling right now? Are you having what you’d call a good day? Or are you having what you’d call a bad day? It isn’t the events that usually make the day good or bad. It is your emotional reaction to the events that make you interpret it as good or bad. When you start looking internally, you will know the information you are looking for when it comes to the person you are trying to know your compatibility with.

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “It’s an inside job.” It is an inside job because human beings have a full range of biochemicals that flow throughout our bodies and let us know if we are happy or sad, angry or joyful. So that’s where the compatibility test answers are – inside you.

But you searched and found this article because you aren’t clear - which means something is blocking you from knowing your own truth. These are the kinds of things that block women from knowing:

1. They have a hard time understanding their emotions.


2. They started a physical relationship before they really knew the guy and become confused because their hormones and emotional vulnerability is totally triggered. This is not a moral judgment but rather a reality for women.


3. They are carrying a lot of emotional baggage from the past and it is confusing the current situation.


4. They have low self esteem and want to hold onto anyone as long as someone will stay with them.

So if you want to know if he is the one, you have to allow yourself to feel your feelings and acknowledge what they are telling you. If all this idea does is leave you feeling confused, then I can promise you you need some help in getting back in touch with your feelings. Go seek help before you make any decisions about who is “the one”.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Having a Mindfulness of My Age

Law of Attraction and Aging

With our human mind's penchant for assigning meaning to things, we have all assigned meanings to certain ages. I know you will easily be able to imagine a 2-year-old, a 22-year-old, a 70-year-old. Easy, you say. You may all have a different picture of each age because your mind assigns it one "look" and mine assigns it another but it'll be close. I'd guess that this is somewhat societally and/or culturally influenced also. But if we could draw what we imagined, we'd probably often have a similar picture.

Other places on this site and other things you might have read have informed you how we create our lives. We have a thought; the thought creates feelings; our feelings create a certain vibration; our little super highway in our brains, our neuronet, keeps thinking the thought and we keep creating the feelings which create our predominant vibration and - voila! - it (whatever we've been thinking about over and over) is created in our lives. So over and over and over we think and picture and feel about being 35 or being 60 and when we get there to that age, there we are. We created just what we thought of over and over and over.

I am 71. My mother died at 57 so I don't really know what a 71-year-old woman looks like in my family - and that's a good thing (not good that my mother died so young but good that I have no picture of it). So I just look like and feel like a person who has woken up each morning for over 69 years, breathing and in the same body.

So to me any age means how long you have woken each day and fulfilled the requirement of breathing through that day . That's all it means.

So what does age mean to you? The thing is, you are free to choose.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Even Life Coaches Need Self Help Solutions

Law of Attraction and Me

When you read around this blog, you might get the impression that I have it all under control. Many experts talk and act as if they have resolved every issue in their lives - particularly the ones they teach about. Let me assure you that although I feel as if I have something to teach and offer you, I don't feel I have it all down. I still have me to deal with.  I need my own self help solutions. My perspective on that is that I need reminders of what it's like so I keep fresh in my teaching. Having watched a person become famous and how challenging that is for the ego, I think it helps in that aspect too.

So, I do teach and talk about the Law of Attraction and what it takes to create what you want. I talk about the neuronet and the emotions and how to create your own self help solutions. This page has a good array of those topics. Here I'd like to talk about two I haven't mentioned yet. I need these to change my emotional viewpoint when I woke up today.

• Talking yourself down - Abraham Hicks talks about this. Example: this morning I woke up seeing the glass half empty. A few days ago over 650 people came to look at my site. I was so excited and the day after, when that number went down to the 100+ area, I told myself that the 650 was a great place to keep focused on and visualize and expect. Well, today I could only see low, low, low. So here's the first thing I did. I started talking myself down saying things like this to myself: "OK. So you feel this way now and you've felt this way before about things and you know pretty soon this will change. Your thoughts and feelings come and go. Remember when you just knew that the big number was just a point of power not a point to beat yourself up about." As I did this I started to feel a little better. Instead of resenting my husband for the lousy way he completed the kitchen clean-up, I let in a few thoughts about how great he was to keep helping. Then, instead of taking what felt like the longer route of continuing to talk to myself, I hit on the idea of #2.

• Uplifting distraction - I put on my IPOD and listened to my favorite music.  I usually listen to music while doing housework instead of just do cleaning.  I lose myself in my music and don't even realize what I'm doing. And best of all, all thoughts immediately stop. By the time I'm finished, I feel good about my accomplishment and the music has done its magic.  I  like John Denver, Shanti Shanti, the Beatles and other folks who do music that inspires me - often with spiritual themes.

So those are two more of my tricks to self-coach me which you certainly can borrow. Most important is my attitude that no bad mood is worth the so-called luxury of feeling lousy. Find out what self help solutions work best for you.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching