Are the 12-Steps enough?

I am a friend of Bill W. If that doesn't mean anything to you, then you might want to skip this article - or not. Around the world there are many self-help organizations that have formed to help various forms of addiction. Many of them - maybe most of them - are based on the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

The program within those pages have helped countless people get their addictions handled and have helped them get their lives more together. I am one of those people. Almost 34 years ago I began steadfastly using what I learned there and the results are phenomenal. I consider the spiritual program the basis of my life.

But I felt led to find additional ways to grow to support what I learned there. Many do that. And I believe for most of us it is necessary if we truly want to grow into the fullest person that we have the ability to be. I don't believe "The Program" really addresses our emotional selves fully. It does in many ways but I know I need tools to process my emotions fully so that I can relieve myself of any emotional backlog accumulated over my life time and which, to some degree, continues to run my life.

The Big Book was written in 1935. There has been and evolution of consciousness and information that has blossomed since that time having to do with our emotional selves. Many people are trying to deal with it with prescription medication offered by the medical world to deal with feelings. Personally, I don't believe that really solves it. (I am neither doctor or psychologist. This is strictly my opinion based on observation of myself, clients, friends, family and my natural inclinations. So any 12-Steppers out there who feel it necessary to add additional sources of help the their program of recovery, my blessings go with you and I am one of you.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching 

Emotions and Feelings - Letting Go of Hurt Feelings

Letting Go of Hurt Feelings

I am a true believer of expressing emotions and feelings. I believe the only way out of emotions is through them. If your feelings have been hurt, pushing it down won't work. If your feelings have been hurt, dumping feelings on the person who hurt them won't work either. What works is letting go - appropriately. But how does one do that? In my YOU University program and other programs, I give you instructions to write Love Letters. Love Letters were designed to be used as a tool for appropriate expression of emotions and feelings.

John Gray and Barbara deAngelis taught me how to write Love Letters in 1982. I've been writing them ever since. I can do them in my sleep or in my head if I don't have a computer or a piece of paper handy. I am an expert. I teach them. I coach them. I probably even nag about them. Love Letter used correctly are a great way of letting go.

I was talking to one of my coaches this morning and I shared with her two little stories about what happens when someone isn't open to your feelings and she suggested I share them with you all. Here they are:

Story #1 - I have a very good friend for 30 years. She has been totally instrumental in my life. She sent me to the first workshop where I learned about emotions and feelings and learned to write Love Letters. (I also happened to meet my lovely husband there but that's another story.) She is also very unafraid of her own anger and can be very strong is expressing it. Growing up with the mother I had and just being myself, I'm not wild about being around that so when I was upset with her many years ago, I wrote her a Love Letter. She didn't want to write one but assured me she could just do it verbally.

Well, it didn't work out so well. I read mine to her - ending with lots of love and forgiveness that was truly in my heart. Then it was her turn. Because she's so forceful in her anger and it is so easy for her to express, it about knocked me over. Because she wouldn't write the letter, she was unable to gauge whether the love she expressed was at least as long or longer then the anger she expressed (one of the vital rules involved in Love Letters).

My questions to you: How does it feel to you when a whole load of anger is dumped on you with no resolution of forgiveness and love and understanding.

Story #2 - In my past I worked for years in a couple of personal growth organizations. Love Letters were used in the culture of the community surrounding the group but the leaders refused to receive them even though they taught them. I strongly requested that I be allowed to use one to communicate my upset. I was given the OK verbally but the person to whom I read the letter had their heart completely closed to what I said - even all the love. If I had know then what I know now, I would have stopped as soon as I realized this. But I did not. I kept going. It felt as if all of the feelings multiplied by 10 bounced back off that closed heart and fell all over me. It was very painful.

My question to you: If it is so painful to not be heard and understood, what is stopping you from finding a way to do it so that you are heard and understood or at least feel peace within yourself?

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Hiring a Life Coach - How Does Life Coaching Work?

FAQ - How does life coaching work?

Every single person could benefit from having a competent life coach to guide them and help them plan their life. It is no coincidence that high paid, high performing sports, business and spiritual people all have coaches in their lives.

How does life coaching work? The life coach helps them stay organized and focused to figure out what their goals are and what the best way is to accomplish them. They help you plan and keep track of your progress and keep you motivated.

Many people coaches feel that one of the best features of having a life coach to work with is the fact that someone is holding you accountable to do what you say you are going to do. Lots of people set goals for themselves and make a plan but with only themselves to answer to, it is very easy to put it off and procrastinate. In most cases, the goals fall by the wayside and life goes on without them ever getting what they really want. But if you are paying a life coach to help you, they will expect you to follow your plan and when you meet with them they will encourage you and motivate you to continue.

Maybe this is all true for many but in my experience of clients they put things off and procrastinate because they don't see themselves as BIG enough to accomplish what they want to. They don't believe they can. So, for me, the best thing about having a coach is having one who sees your greatness and holds you accountable to that vision!

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Why Is Life Coaching Growing?

Many people have an attitude that "competition is heavy in today's world and everybody needs to take advantage of any edge they can get to get ahead and live the life that they would like."

Some people feel that attitude, this is why life coaching is growing by leaps and bounds.

It may be that the growth of life coaching is happening, in part, because people focus on this feeling of fierce competition. The need to feel more secure in life but certainly another reason for the growth in the industry is that life coaching is right up there with really good therapy to produce results (without dredging up why and how there is a problem). Life coaching mostly skips the past part and centers on changing the situation in the now.

The life coaching industry is no different than the mental health industry and there are many coaches to choose from as there are many therapists and counselors to choose from.

If you hire a coach and this service in important in your life and an expensive investment, be sure to  find a life coach that you feel a strong connection with and who has the skills to help you get where you want to go or help you clarify where you do want to go.

For many, it is best to interview a few before you decide on one to make sure you feel comfortable with them. Although if your intuition says "yes" at the first one, you can probably trust it.

You might even get client testimonials from a perspective coach and see how others felt about the services they received.

Because all consciousness grows and is growing now at a speed none of us can really understand, it really isn't a surprise that a profession that generally focuses on increasing the speed of personal and spiritual growth would be zooming right along also.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

What Does Being a Life Coach Have to Do with Personal Power?

I see the role as life coach very simply today.  Show clients their personal power.

My job is to show my clients how to clear their path and their self view of all that says they are less than - less than deserving of material goods; less than deserving of the relationships they want with friends, family and significant other; less than deserving of anything they want.

Someone must have told us that it's only OK to want a certain amount. So a certain amount is what we get. Additionally, it is hard for us humans to remember that we came here for a purpose. In its broadest sense we came here (here being Planet Earth) to learn some other things in addition to our worthiness, our own personal power. What we learn appears to be our own choice.

For example, a client I'm working with is working on letting go of guilt and responsibility around her adult children. We spoke today about how when we enable other adults, we might keep them from growing into the wonderful humans they are in the process of becoming. When we enable other adults and rescue them from themselves, they never get to see their own inner resources or personal power nor seek the support they may decide they need or even fail and learn and grow from that.

We also spoke about the agreements we appear to make on some spiritual level in which we act in certain ways for our children's growth and they do the same for us. Therefore everyone is in agreement. No one is a victim.

I have no idea how I developed the gift of being able to teach, model, intuit all that I do with clients but it appears to be an ever-developing gift. It sure is fun to be able to see, speak and help those people who want to grow in awareness and expand their lives. I love watching the magic of transformation as it occurs.   I love holding the hand of those I work with and becoming part of their magnificent unfolding.  I love seeing those I help exercise their own personal power for their own growth and benefit. It also keeps me aware of my own.

Now that you're done, I have one thing left I'd like you to do.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Gosh! I hate to cry! It messes up my makeup....

How Not to Cry

This morning I viewed a wonderful little video created by my friend, Dr. Jane Bolton, a therapist friend of mine.The story goes like this: we're little. We cry. The adults don't want to hear it for whatever their reasons. They tell us big girls don't cry or you cry too much or you have it so good you have no reason to cry. Whatever. So we learn that crying is bad or embarrassing or immature or something not OK.

But did you ever think that crying has a purpose?

Well, it does. It is a wonderful release. I believe it is a necessary release of emotion and it cleanses away many difficult feelings. For me, I believe it saved my life. I cried very easily as a child with lots of reasons that were valid. No child likes being yelled at and criticized on a very constant basis. It was a big release for me who was not allowed much of any other feeling except happiness. For 37 years I lived with someone - first mother then husband - who made me feel bad and fearful. And so I cried. Within two months of having finally left that husband in 1980, every one of my 4 children who were then 6, 7, 10 and 14 at the time noticed that, "You no longer cry everyday, Mommy." That's because my predominant feeling at the time was gratitude for no longer living in fear and unhappiness.

The upshot of these experiences is that I know that crying is like releasing a safety valve and that we were made as humans to experience all of it - anger, fear, hurt, sadness, happiness, joy. And crying is a great way to release those feelings that don't feel good and even a way often to express joy.

I've never really written about my thoughts on crying and how sad I feel when I hear people apologizing for crying. Your tears are a gift to whomsoever gets to hear you - and hopefully give you a hug.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Is a Relationship Doomed if You Have Different Interests?

Compatibility or Commitment?

Thinking back to the beginnings of our relationship, we had some similar interests – spirituality, personal growth. And there were certainly things that the Martian was and is interested in that I'm not, for example, fixing and learning about cars, skiing, physics (which I blush to say I got a D in in high school) and airplanes to name a few. Here's what's happened with me on those subjects:

•    I now share his interest in cars - green cars.

•    I've never become an athlete but I am using WII FIT regularly and enjoying it.

•    I've found an interest in quantum physics because it veers right into spirituality so that has become a shared interest.

•    Haven't developed an interest in airplanes except for how they may impact my travel.

But do interests really create compatibility? To some extent I suppose they do but what seems much more important to me is shared values. We both value honesty, strong family relationships, forgiveness, change, commitment, meaning, accountability, responsibility, creativity, fun, laughter, freedom, gratitude, generosity, generosity of spirit, integrity, peace, abundance, prosperity, personal growth. With all that in common, how could we go wrong?

Relationship advice: If you are new in a relationship, begin to have conversations about your values and see what comes of it.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Relationship Communication

Supposedly, relationships are easy in the beginning.

Relationships are easy in the beginning.  At least that's what everyone says. In some ways that was true of ours. Sex was easy and plentiful. Newness, excitement and freshness was easy. But I assigned to myself a very big challenge - that I was going to tell the  emotional truth quickly in this relationship. That was one scary deal. I had never done that in relationship communication. As a matter of fact, I went out of my way to be as pleasing as I could be. It didn't work out very well two times before. So I had to take the chance that it was worth it to be in a relationship with me and that if the Martian didn't like me and my emotional truth, we weren't meant to spend our lives together.

And in the beginning it seemed pretty easy for him to hear my emotional truth. Our relationship communication was well in hand.  We've talked about it since that time and my conclusion is that because he wasn't very emotionally tied into me, he could be the perfect listen-only Martian. He didn't take any of it personally. But as we became more and more emotionally connected, it became more difficult to not take it personally.  We probably both need a quick re-read of The Four Agreements.

Then there is the statement: "When you begin dating someone, it is fun finding out all you can about them and the quirky little habits that they have just make you find them all the more attractive."  Most of us have experienced that once the relationship begins to mature, things that were once cute are sometimes aren't so cute anymore. As a matter of fact, they can be down right annoying.

I believe quite strongly that the Universe is in balance meaning that who we are in partnership is no accident and that we "fit" together. If the fit is uncomfortable, then there is growth needing and wanting to happen. Sometimes that growth takes the form of a different way of communicating. Sometimes it requires outside help in the relationship. And sometimes it means leaving the relationship all together. It's your choice.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

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What Is a Spiritual Life Coach?

Spiritual Life Coach = Life Coach?

A spiritual life coach is a life coach who acknowledges the presence of spirit in the world and intuition in the body. If you need support:

• during your first steps on a new path in life,
• want might help getting in touch with your heart, or
• help in times of crisis when your world may seem like it's falling apart.

At these times, you may find the help of a spiritual coach most welcome.

Most coaching is at some level a form of holistic  or spiritual life coaching because all coaching is primarily about  expanding awareness. Working with an intuitive or spiritual life coach is thus about reaching clarity through awareness. Spiritual coaches can help you clarify issues that may be keeping you stuck.

A spiritual life coach will help you expand your awareness with a much wider perspective than just what appears to be happening. They will help you see the purpose and gains from the hard things in your life. They will empower you with a perspective of learning rather than victim.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Living in the Now - We Teach What We Have to Learn

Living in the Present

You know the phrase, “We teach what we have to learn”? Well, I should never be surprised that I spend a good deal of my days teaching, coaching, reminding clients about the very things I need to be reminded of. Some days I find I’ve done such a great job that my clients say exactly what I need to hear! Today was such a day.  I needed to hear that I should be living in the now and that’s what happened.

My client started describing how she believes she is overcoming her anxiety. Besides being vigilant about what thoughts she’s thinking and giving up complaining, she realized that when she consciously was living in the now situation (whatever situation or task it is she’s involved in), her experience this past week has been - way less anxiety.

Just the reminder I need. I’m not having a problem with anxiety but I sometimes have a problem of feeling emotionally flat. I believe that habit comes from my childhood when the negative feelings and sense of powerlessness was so acute for me that I had to numb out so that I could survive my childhood. And that habit has survived to some extent all these years later. But when I am living in the now, I feel myself and feel my lively, juicy interior self.

You might be wondering how you are in the now or not even know what I mean.  I’ll do it right in this moment and stop and explain the experience.

1. I stop and notice whether my full attention is on what I’m involved in. Right now I’m writing on the computer and because I write often and fairly easily, I notice that part of me is a little absent which means I am not in the present.


2. Now I come out from behind what feels like an inner door and be here with all of my attention focused on this very moment.


3. Now I’m trying to type and stay present with what I am doing – notice my fingers on the keys, my eyes following the type on the screen.

I knew even as I wrote the above that it isn’t the best description in the world but, hopefully, you know what I mean, will practice a bit and can duplicate my experience of living in the now.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Should couples have sex before marriage? What factors should couplesconsider?

If that is your true question, should you have sex before marriage? I have no answer. That answer is one of your own desire and sometimes a religious question. I cannot speak to your own personal desire nor to religious ones but I can speak to the question about sex before marriage.

I may be of a very different generation from you but sex was not just invented in the late 20^th century. It’s always been around. And when I was your age, it was around and people were pondering the same questions.

But by the time the 1970’s rolled around, sex had quite clearly come out of hiding.

So I get that there is much underlying this kind of question. Many women have had the experience of being unabashedly and unashamedly “modern” – knowing that it is totally okay and not only expected of men but now women are allowed to come right out and say they like sex too.

This is a very good thing. For way too long sex lived under the false wraps of shame and modesty. Since all sex is , is just human, it doesn’t belong wrapped in shame. But where exactly does it belong?

Well, my age and my focus has some great advantages when answering that question. Here are my advantages:

• I have been around  7 decades.
• On top of that - I’ve been married 3 times.
• On top of that - the third one is 27 years long and highly successful.
• On top of that - I worked and studied with one of the world’s experts on relationships – John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
• And on top of that - I am an observer and teacher of the human situation – and I have been observing what frequently happens when a woman has sex too soon.

I realize the secondary question in the title of this article is “What factors should couples consider?” I am a woman and I have only the real experience of woman to rely on. By specifying couples in the question, the implication is that I’d also be speaking about what’s best for a man. I can do that only in this way; if a man is serious about considering a future with a woman, what works for her must work for him too – otherwise the issues of incompatibility are too deep to consider a future together. So I feel safe in directing my thoughts to woman.

If I were you, here’s what I suggest you consider before you have sex:

Before you jump on your “I’m an emancipated woman” horse, consider waiting 2 to 6 months before you have sex with a man you might even ever consider for a lifelong partner.

For many psychological, physical and biological reasons, women become very activated emotionally when they have sex. For that reason, it would be a really good idea to wait because then - as men are accused of having their brains you know where - women become exactly what will not allow them to really get to know their potential future partner because their hormones will not allow them to get in touch with their true intuitive nature. They will  most often not look at the real signs of “not a match” because they are now like high school girls with a major crush.

If you liked him a bit and thought he was cute, why not get to know him before you activate all of that lovely emotional roller coaster. It’s not a guarantee for future success but it gives the relationship a shot. And imagine how enticing you become when you are the one woman who says “no” – or “no” for awhile anyway. 

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching 

Finding Inner Peace Through Understanding

Forgiveness and Inner Peace

To embrace inner peace you must release any need to be forgiven. Many people hold onto resentment and anger and refuse to change until the person(s) who harmed them seeks their forgiveness. This attitude keeps them locked in fear and causes them to deny their own inner peace, their own soul, and Source.

If we look at the big picture, we are all souls exploring this Universe. Whatever we experience with others is what we have chosen - at least on a soul level. Usually, the people that cause us the most heartache have the greatest attachment for us on a soul level. We have a powerful bond of love with them and choose to go through our great human dramas with them.  Sometimes finding inner peace when we are in a powerful relationship is hard.  Fear can set in and hold us back from finding our true selves.

Fear is the opposite of love and inner peace.  We cannot experience fear  when we come from a place of love and awareness. In order for us to take control of where we are, we have to accept that what we are experiencing was created by our own actions and learn from them.   We come to realize we don't need to seek forgiveness but to embrace gratitude about what we have experienced - so that we can understand more about creating with the energies of love not of fear.

When you allow yourself to embrace gratitude towards those you have co-created your experiences with, you will open to the truth of your inner peace. When you finally understand that whole paradigm from a place of learning and understanding, your creations will no longer control you, the creator. It is only then that you will be free to be who you really are - a powerful, unlimited source of inner peace.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Life Coaches Bring Insight for Living

Insight For Living

One of my clients just retired after almost 5 decades of working for someone else. Her goals setting and why we started our coaching relationship was to retire and start a life coaching practice. She has done both. She has found through our work that she was hiding her insight for living. She did this by working in an academic environment where she only has a Masters degree and everyone else had a Ph.D. It was the perfect place and situation for her to hide.

Now that she recognizes that she does this her spirit is calling her to rid herself of that limitation. She has proven her change recently.  She has a minister who she’s been in training under. The minister is unconsciously trying to do the same thing to my client.  The minister called her, met with her and made it known that she expects my client to be pretty much totally available at the church and at the minister’s beck and call because “now you have the time now that you are retired”.

My client realized when she woke up the next morning what had occurred. She was being asked to shift her own insight for living. She realized what she needed and for the FIRST TIME IN THE 17 MONTHS WE’VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER, ASKED TO HAVE HER APT. EARLIER IN THE WEEK IF I COULD DO IT. This was such great news. It was her asking to have her needs fulfilled and not making do - as she is won't to do.

We spoke and asked her questions like: “What do you want to/really love to do at the church at this time?” pretty much over and over until she came up with her list and will get back to the minister with “what I am willing to do for you and the church” rather than “what you automatically expect me to do and I’ll make fine with me.” This was her reclaiming her insight for living and what she truly had a passion for.

Somewhere the words that probably my mother gave me seemed to want to come out to her. “We gave you your backbone today.”

I got a great little email after our call saying: “Thanks for the call - it helped tremendously.
This line was in a local advice column today:
“…people who don’t assert themselves are essentially agreeing to live life on the terms of those around them who do.”

And that about sums it up for me, as I see it. While I know this, sometimes I slip into what is easiest, and it is more comfortable to avoid confrontation, but then I don’t really get to live the life I want to live. And to use the other analogy from the piece I read you earlier, I am the one letting the fuel leak out (of my enthusiasm).”

This woman has found the intuition to follow her own insight for living.  If she continues to follow this and listen to herself she will find true happiness. I love coaching!

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Executive Coaching Available to You? Lucky You.

Executive Coaching Part of Training

More and more corporations are turning to executive coaching as a part of their ongoing training. The trend is huge and growing quickly. Corporations are finding that offering an executive coaching program to their employees will:

• increase individual productivity
• create a better atmosphere
• improve teamwork
• less conflict
• more taking responsibility

If everyone is more productive and getting their jobs done then there is less conflict in the workplace and fewer people trying to pass the buck and get someone else to help them with their work. So you might say that coaching in the workplace creates not only more productivity but a greater sense of personal responsibility in employees.

Companies are advised that when it comes to executive coaching, it is best to do your homework before hiring a company. Executive coaching is an expensive undertaking for a company and it pays to shop around and interview many coaches and ask lots of questions. Ask to see something tangible that you can review that shows what type of program they offer and what will be included in the coaching package. Explore the possibilities between a coaching package and individual coaching one-on-one. Make sure that you find a company that can support your needs whether you are a large company or just a small company looking to grow.

Having had no corporate experience myself, I decided to go "undercover" and attend a couple of meetings of an organization where executive coaches gather. Guess what I discovered? Executive coaches talk about many of the same things I talk about with my clients - improved relationships at home and work, improved communication skills, strategies to accomplish goals. They also provide support where corporate individuals are selling themselves short.

If you are fortunate enough to work at a company that provides executive coaching, take advantage of it and start what might be the adventure of your life.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Is There Respect in Your Relationship?

Happy Marriages Have Issues, too

I really love my husband. I respect him. I am proud of him. I am proud to be in a relationship with him. So where does the evil little bitch that I can be come from? Is it from my past? Is it hormones? Is it morning blues? YUK!!!!

Here's what happened this morning. I got up earlier than usual which for some reason brought me to my computer. That's always a mistake first thing in the morning. I get pulled into work so now on top of the usual duties I've assigned myself in the morning - putting dishes away, making the Martian's lunch, making his breakfast.  By going to my computer, I now subconsciously have taken on my career duties as well.

So the Martian, who had gotten up before me and was relaxing with a cup of tea on the couch started sharing stuff from work with me. He teaches high school science and physics. He asked me a couple of times if I was listening and I said "yes" although truthfully his talking and relaxing was beginning to annoy me because I was working, stressed, blah, blah, blah - you got it -

Now why would I think that working at 4:30 in the morning is more important than connecting with my husband and hearing a beautiful story about one of his students. It was so moving to him, he was choked up with feeling and I was WORKING!

Oy! Well, fortunately I saw my stuff quickly, apologized and - HOPEFULLY - learned something.

I promise to respect my husband. I promise to respect and appreciate my husband. And I love myself with my pimples, foibles and wrinkles anyway.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

How Do You Act on Your Dates?

Relationship Advice

Are you one of those people who think that they have to show the people you date that you have the same interests they do? You probably read a magazine article that suggested you do just this type of relationship advice. DON'T DO THAT. Be yourself. Relationships come in all types but the strongest relationships have proven time and time again certain things. Following are two of them:

1. One of these things is that you need to do is to stay true to yourself and who you are. Dating is difficult but it is even more difficult if you waste your time trying to be someone that you aren’t. You see it happen all the time. People begin dating and like each other but try to convince each other that they have many things in common whether they really do or not. For example, a women might claim she is a huge football fan when in reality she knows nothing about the game and could care less. For this relationship to go anywhere, sooner or later she is going to be found out and have to come clean and admit she isn’t a football fan. You may not realize it but this is lying. Is this any way to start a relationship that has any hope to survive? And how can you ever be sure you are loved for who you are if you don't show who you are?


2. Another important piece of the relationship of relationship advice is to keep your humor. You need to be able to laugh together and about yourselves. This keeps your relationship fun and playful and there is less chance that you will be hurt over silly little things that don’t really matter. Supposedly men especially don’t like women that take life too seriously and make everything a matter of life and death. I agree the less drama in the relationship the better but I don't want my partner to take every little thing too seriously either. I hate it when he takes things personally that I never meant that way,

The better you are able to be yourself with each other and laugh with each other, the more you prove that you can work together even when things aren’t so great. A positive relationship can only really happen when both partners are happy with themselves first and then with each other and laugh a lot.

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching

Barriers to Personal Growth - Do you refuse to see them?

Are You Keeping Your Head in the Sand?

Look around. Denial is everywhere - about being in a lousy relationship; about how you treated someone; about how much money you have.

Are these barriers to personal growth? Being human means we are all pretty much subject to this state of mind. I've been told it is a protective construct. I'm sure it is and it is also appropriate to take my head out of the sand and look around when I don't need that protection any more.

What I need to fully take my head out of the sand and keep it out is about frequent exercise .  This is my barrier.

I'm 71. I have definitely arrived at the "use it or lose it" stage of my life. I've been warned and exhorted and the day has arrived. I am no longer get away in the no-exercise-but-my-body-works-pretty-well-anyway stage. Today while going for a walk, I had a teensy moment of experiencing an "old person's" step.

I don't know how else to describe it. For a short fraction of a moment as I was walking, my step felt a bit weak and a bit unsteady. I doubt if anyone could have seen it if they were watching but I have fine sensitivity about things happening in my body and I felt it. It was really there.

These days when I go a week without exercise, my balance  standing on one foot is a bit shaky, my arms and legs aren't as strong and I can tell that my posture is drooping. When I do exercise very frequently, none of the previous things is extremely true.

I've never been an athlete so I don't expect an athlete's effectiveness but I don't want an old person's ineffectiveness. I don't want to be one of those people with a walker or any other aid. I want to be fully functioning until the body needs to leave the planet.

What are your barriers to personal growth?

So, now that I've lifted the tightly held cover off of my hole in the sand, I'll ask you again, "What are YOU in denial about?"

YOU University Coaching/Life Coach Training and Life Coaching